The Art of Loving

Fromm’s work delves into the psychology and philosophy of love that stem much from Vienna’s psychoanalytic tradition (Fromm’s theories often build upon or revise Freud’s) and presented in the broad, bold, and sweeping writing style of continental philosophers. However, it’s presented in a very humble fashion and perfectly understandable to anyone. The book focuses on mainly on the theory of love, and then the practice, treating the subject as an art where success means first learning theory then correctly applying it. Fromm does cover a lot of material, taking a tour through the many different forms and types of love, and considers them in the context of modern, western society: namely love in a democratic, capitalistic age. I’d recommend this book to everyone, since at its core it aims to enhance your life in letting you understand the human ability to love, a faculty innate in all but inert in many.

The important idea I took away was the disciplined attitude that Fromm took to the idea. Fromm treats love (and this extends beyond the traditional connotation – it includes being kind to your neighbor, to parents and children, to God for theists) as a discipline to learn just like a student learns to read or an artist learns his craft. To do so, just like writers must read regularly and musicians must practice daily, Fromm notes that to practice love, a person should practice self-discipline, focus, patience, and determination to master the art in every aspect of life (since Fromm notes love should pervade every aspect of life), whether that be committing to long-term goals or resisting short-term temptations. I agree for the most part, though I think Fromm’s idea of love is influenced by theism so that his idea of love can apply to everything, and the massive breadth of the idea makes it less precise and less powerful. However, you can’t go wrong from having the self-control to practice those four aspects Fromm notes, since it will inevitably make you better at whichever pursuit you choose to apply them to.